I Was Wrong
by November Fatale
Summary: He was wrong, both of them are left feeling hurt, sad and empty except Elena is the only one of the two who doesn't know why. Set in episode 8  Rose  after Damon finally voices his love to Elena. His thoughts after and during the intense scene!
1. Chapter 1: I Was Wrong

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing that is affiliated with Vampire Diaries which includes the book series and the T.V. Shows the series belongs to the rightful, respectable creators._**

**_Summary: Another Damon fanfiction as he muses about him finally telling Elena. Set in Episode 8: Rose. _**

**_Author's Note: This is best listened to with I Was Wrong by Sleeperstar (which is a great group by the way!) _**

**_Anyways~ I hope you enjoy and that it's not lame, boring or too corny and I hope everyone is in character! _**

**_Enjoy!_**

**_P.S. Episode 8 was so sad like when Elena was at the stairs and Damon smiled up at her expecting her to run to him (that was so sad!) and of course the 'I love you' scene. I actually cried about that...Episode 8 was amazing as usual! That scene from episode 8 inspired me so much I HAD to write this!  
_**

**_Happy reading!  
_**

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_He sat there tinkering around with the small, precious object dangling by the silver chain. It swung gingerly and twisted in mid air subjected to gravity like most things. _

_His mind wasn't on the mere necklace as he idly dangled it by its chain…no his mind was filled with greater things that were centered on a special person. _

_At the moment as the dam which represented his thoughts broke and flooded, filling the dark recesses of his mind and his being was filled with so many __**raw**__ emotions that he had only recently tapped back into he found himself shaken and ready to burst and it was all because of __**her**__ that he could do this…that he could feel again, that he could __**love**__. _

_She who saw past his tough guy/cocky façade because while that was apart of him…it wasn't entirely him, she saw past the monster and saw __**Damon Salvatore.**__ The man and not the beast that inhabited his body and became apart of him…the very beast that merged with whatever remnants of humanity he possessed._

_He wasn't even sure if he had any but Elena brought the humanity out in him… and slowly but sure he had begun to fall in love with the warm kind hearted girl. _

_He wanted her and no one else, he wanted to be at her side forever…he wanted to be the one to protect her…to always comfort her…he wanted to be the one she came to for help…for everything. _

_His brother already occupied that spot...and maybe it was for the best, maybe it was __**meant**__ to be that way. He was a __**monster**__ and he didn't think anything could change that fact…that anyone could eradicate the demon residing in him. _

_He was broken and so messed up…Elena didn't deserve to pick up the pieces, to repair a broken man…he was broken and twisted while his brother with miniscule dents and chinks – that seemed to be repaired now – was the better choice._

_Stefan was everything Damon wasn't…kind and good hearted and…he was just __**Stefan.**_

_Damon wasn't good for Elena…he was like a toxic presence; he only wrought death and sorrow and even anger. _

_**Maybe that's all I'm good for…killing and causing pain.**_

_**Elena doesn't deserve someone like that…she deserves better…**_

_She deserved Stefan the good Salvatore brother. _

_And as he twirled the silver chain avoiding the charm attached, he wrapped it around a single finger solemnly because he was filled with undeniable urge to tell her…he couldn't keep it unvoiced any longer…he needed her to hear it, he needed to __**say**__ it out loud to someone that wasn't himself but he didn't want to burden her with that knowledge._

_As a plan slid into his mind he clenched the chain gently so as not to crush and snap the metal. _

_Damon swallowed as his throat tightened in sync with his slightly clenched teeth. _

_Her scent invaded him and he closed his eyes briefly in an attempt to calm himself or to make himself appear as if he was calm, that he was subdued. _

_It took a few minutes but when he regained his sense of calm he focused his line of sight on the dangling necklace he fiddled with. _

_His façade almost felled when her scent hit him stronger than ever. _

_Damon plastered on a slightly cocky smirk that held undertones of a genuine smile in the action, he looked up and took in her appearance. _

_His throat only tightened at her natural beauty. She was only clad in white chequered light blue night shorts and a more vibrant blue night camisole. Her gaze was trained else where for a few seconds until they landed on him and she halted before him. Her hand halting in its own ministration of running through strands of hair only to stop at her neck._

_Without thinking a flirty comment bubbled past his upturned lips__**. "Cute pjs."**__ His eyes swept down though his gaze wasn't fully fixated on her. _

_He focused on her fully when she responded to his comment. __**"I'm tired Damon."**__ She looked uncomfortable under the weight of his gaze._

_Damon hopped up and neared her with a Damon like smirk and smile. _

_As he spoke he merrily held up her Vervain necklace. __**"I brought you this."**_

_She sounded surprised and astonished as she regarded him __**"I thought that was gone…" **_

_Damon shook his head slightly with his hand still holding the necklace towards her. She smiled gratefully and her voice was filled with kindness that made his throat tighten further. __**"Thank you."**__ Elena made a grab for it but quickly at human speed Damon moved it out of reach. _

_His face was serious as she spoke, she looked even a little scared and worried which hurt him a little but that didn't stop him. __**"**__Please__** give it back."**_

_Gently he neared her as she took a step back and he felt his face contort into an expression of sincerity as well as he spoke. __**"I just have to say something."**__ His words were truthful. _

"_**Why do you have to say it with my necklace?"**__ wariness was evident in her eyes and her heart betrayed her emotions, he could even smell the emotions emitting from her. _

_He frowned slight as he hesitated and then spoke as he tried to collect and sort his thoughts from the war going on inside of him. As the words tumbled out he detected the strong sincerity in his words mixing with softness and he hesitated mid speech. **"Because what I'm about to say is probably the most selfish thing I've ever said in my life." **_

_**Don't do it!**_

**I have to…I don't deserve her.**

**She deserves better than a monster.**

_Elena inhaled sharply shaking her head looking as if she wanted to bolt at that very moment…like before she didn't want to hear what he wanted to say…especially if it involved the non-existent __**them. **__Their feelings for each other…Damon had accepted his, why couldn't she accept hers?_

_**I'm lucky she hasn't because if she had…I'd have caused her more pain that what we could have had…it would have been more trouble than it would have been worth; at least in her point of view. I don't want to hurt her…**_

_Crossly she spoke. __**"Damon **__don't__** go there."**__ She shook her head and Damon ignored it and he continued on with his plan. _

"_**No, I just have to say it once…"**__ He assured her._

"_**You just need to hear it."**__ He closed the distance that had grown large between them._

_For a single minute he couldn't speak as he gazed into her warm, chocolate brown eyes…his throat constricted even more painfully tight. He wasn't even sure he could do this anymore… _

_His lips parted as he forced his voice to pour through painfully, her heart beating rapidly seeming to express emotions he wouldn't let surface onto his face. Luckily enough his voice poured out smooth sounding. He said the words that he had desired to tell her…that he needed to hear. __**"I **__love__** you Elena."**_

_Elena's lips parted in surprise her eyes reflecting it. _

_Words flowed easily past his lips as he spilled everything and laid his cards on the table. **"And it's because I love you that…I can't be selfish with you…" **he swallowed as he drifted off._

_He saw her eyes begin to water and it made things only harder as he murmured the indicator of what he was about to do. **"Why you can't know this…" **_

_**I'm sorry Elena…**_

**"**_**I don't deserve you…"** he tilted his head to the side and wished he didn't have to do this. _

**"**_**But my brother does."** He saw the amount of tears pooling in her eyes increase at his last statement and he allowed himself one last thing. After this he had to step back and let things be, even if it killed him inside._

_Slowly giving her enough time to back away he leaned in, her lips parted before his lips made contact with the warm flesh of her forehead. Damon's eyes gently closed as he savoured the mere feel of his lips resting on her forehead. The simple gesture made his eyes warm. He didn't know if he'd ever be able to do this again, to ever be like this with her again…_

_Damon wished they could be like this for eternity, it wouldn't be fair to his little brother though…he wouldn't do this to Elena and Stefan…for Elena's sake he wouldn't screw things up further for her. He'd done enough, dealt out enough death and pain. _

_Slowly he moved back, opening his eyes and gazing at her as he gauged her reaction. _

_What he saw made not his throat but his chest tighten and his own eyes begin to water as warm tears pooled in his eyes. She swallowed and he heard her heart race increase positively as he ran his hands through her hair while he spoke to her; sadness and pain filled his soft voice. Their eyes still locked onto the other's which made this better by the tiniest amount. __**"God, I wish you didn't have to forget this."**__ His eyes swept over her features wanting to imprint her expression his mind, he swallowed tightly before going through the task. _

_She quirked a single brow in confusion on her serene face as he stroked the side of her face gingerly. _

_He dilated and expanded his pupils in an act of compulsion __**"But you do."**__ He said softly pain and sorrow still colouring his voice._

_Damon hated to do this to her but he had to…she had to forget._

_A tear fell upon his cheek as he continued to stroke the side of her face one last time; an almost burning sensation followed the trail of the tear._

_And as soon as she closed her blank eyes Damon was gone and he had placed the necklace securely around her neck. _

_

* * *

_Compelling her to forget his truly heart felt words was difficult he knew he had to do it but it was so _damn_ hard.

She was the one woman he loved more than anyone else and it killed him when he did that because he'd wanted to tell her so long but he never found the appropriate time.

He had needed her to forget that he had told her he had loved her because it was wrong of him…he would have been wrong to let her know that, to burden her with that fact when she and his brother were prefect for each other, because she deserved Stefan.

He'd hadn't cried for a person in _awhile_…with Katherine she didn't deserve his tears…similar to the ones that poured from his eyes involuntarily.

He hadn't cared so much about one person like this in _awhile_.

When he found out Elena had been kidnapped and was in trouble...he panicked and got angry and made a silent vow that he would tear the town to shreds to find her. He'd break inside if anything happened to her...because in some way he'd hold himself accountable.

_Just like little brother always finds himself somehow at fault._

His breath shook as he just sat there, leaning against the headboard of his bed while he stared at nothing even though his eyes were fixed on the wall. All he could see was Elena's expression after he had pressed his lips to her forehead.

He didn't care if it was labelled self torture because he didn't want to forget the image of her, nor could he.

So Damon just sat there dying inside little by little, aching in internal pain and not moving he didn't even possess the will to do so.

He was alone but he'd rather be alone at the moment because right now he didn't want to be with anyone except Elena even if it was impossible.

A single tear bled from his eye and fell with an accompanied burning sensation as two thoughts entered his mind.

_I'm sorry Elena; it's for the best…_

_I was wrong…for so many reasons…even when I told Stefan I could step out of helping as easily as I got in, Stefan was right when he said I couldn't._

Damon sat there in the silence of the vacant boarding house and let the darkness envelop everything in his sight where the dim lighting didn't reach.

He lay there broken and aching with unfulfilled love.

…_**I love you.**_

_**

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**_

_**Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed this little oneshot! I might do this from Elena's perspective...(still thinking!)**_

_**Would you like to read from Elena's point of view?  
**_


	2. Chapter 2: I Don't Want To Forget

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing that is affiliated with Vampire Diaries which includes the book series and the T.V. Shows the series belongs to the rightful, respectable creators._**

**_Summary: Another Damon fanfiction as he muses about him finally telling Elena. Set in Episode 8: Rose. _**

**_Author's Note: This is best listened to with Ocean Wide by The Afters...the lyrics, sound and the feel of the melody I think suits this chapter...so maybe give it a try? If not I Was Wrong by Sleeperstar still works. =P  
_**

**_Also I plan to do a what if Elena knew or remebered he compelled her like if she had vervain in her system...this will be a seperate writing project so..._**

**_Enjoy!  
_**

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_As she discarded her tooth brush and a sigh passed her lips, she slid her hand - that was encircled around her arm – down as she glanced at it through the mirror and then directly. _

_Tiredly she glanced back at the mirror taking in her appearance. _

_Even as tidy neat she looked, she could see exhaustion etched into her features and dark lines around her eyes, stress was taking its toll on her…no more specifically the __**supernatural**__ entities - that were after her very blood…after __**her**__ - was taking it's toll on her because she a mere human was so easily outmatched by ancient vampires with strength that surpassed her own by far she could do nothing._

_She was just human…and Elena didn't know how to deal with that…with living in constant worry and terror of being on edge all the time, always expecting something to happen in the back of her mind no matter how much she tried to distract herself she always had that nagging feeling. _

_Tiredly she glanced for the last time at her reflection and retired to her room, her fingers running down her tresses, stopping at her throat as her body halted walking mid step… when she heard Damon's' voice and saw that cocky smirk of his. __**"Cute PJs." **__he spoke with a flirty tone as he fiddled with a silver object in his hand._

_She wasn't expecting to see Damon stationed at the window seat. She __**should**__ have expected it though. Elena watched as his eyes swept down her form, the very act making her squirm inside, she was beginning to feel uncomfortable under the weight of his gaze especially as she was only clad in a dark vibrant blue lace cami and white, light blue checkered night shorts. So she spoke hoping he'd get the message to leave. __**"I'm tired Damon."**_

_Damon hopped up and neared her form dangling it in front of her. Her eyes flicked to the object and recognized it as her Vervain necklace, her eyes flicked back to him. __**"I thought that was gone." **__She asked sounding astonished and surprised. _

_Damon shook his head and his playful expression dropped, seriousness clouded his features as he held it closer to her his finger making sure to avoid contact with the silver pendant. _

_A rush of gratitude filled her as she smiled slightly reaching for it. __**"Thank you."**_

_Quickly at human speed Damon pulled the necklace back and now made it so that it was out of reach. Dropping her hand Elena felt a different sort of rush as her heart raced and **not** for good reasons, she felt nervous. __**"**__Please__** give it back." **__Her eyes gazed deep into his crystalline cerulean blues and she spotted emotions she couldn't label and that made her nervous…especially with what happened __**last**__ time. _

_He tilted his head and parted his lips to speak. __**"I just have to say something.**__" She heard tremors in his voice and that fact startled her and unnerved her because she didn't know what to expect from the unpredictable Damon Salvatore. _

_So she voiced her opinions wariness she knew leaked into her tone. __**"Why do you have to say it with **my** necklace?"**__ her own voice shook in nervousness. _

_Damon began to stutter and that fact __**also **__unnerved her…she was even more nervous than before. __**"W- Because what I'm about to say is probably the most selfish thing I've ever said in my life."**__ Elena heard him fighting to keep calm but she didn't know why…Damon usually was able to make himself seem calm even when he really wasn't…so why couldn't he now, what was making him…like this...so nervous?_

_**Selfish? **_

_**What is he talking about…?**_

_**Wh-**_

_Her thoughts were cut short as she saw nervousness crossed his features for a split second. She frowned as her thoughts reverted to what happened __**that**__ night when he had appeared, drunk and when he'd kissed her so passionately before snapping her brother's neck in rage and hurt. __**"Damon **__don't__** go there."**_

"_**No, I just have to say it once, you just have to hear it" **__He assured her as she stepped back and he closed in. Nervousness etched into his features again but this time he hadn't bothered to conceal it._

_He nodded slightly and then swallowed before he continued, Elena found herself entranced…unable to look away. Something inside her wouldn't let her…something inside her knew what he was about to say was extremely important. _

_Than after a brief moment like a water escaping from a tipped glass he spilled. __**"I **__love__** you Elena." **_

_**What…did he just say…?**_

_**He just said he loves me…am I hearing him right?**_

_Her heart hummed and her heart rate increased at his confession, her eyes warming in the beginnings of pooling tears. Elena kept her gazed locked onto him as his soft voice filled her ears and inside she melted and warmth spilled from her core. __**"And it's **because** I love you that… I can't be selfish with you."**__ He hesitated as she noticed him swallow again. _

_Elena couldn't believe her ears right now…she was struck with wonder at the amount of sincerity and tenderness he was displaying with her…he rarely ever showed this side and she hadn't seen it much because they hadn't been alone much…but even then every single time she was astonished and inside she always filled with warmth when he behaved like this. _

_**Damon…**_

_Her heart ached as the next phrase bubbled past his lips, pain and sorrow filling his tone. __**"Why you can't know this…"**_

_He shook his head slightly and she saw tears beginning to well in his eyes. __**"I don't deserve you…" **__he paused and she felt her chest tighten slightly. Her lips parted._

"_**But my brother does." **__He stated simply the pain and sadness becoming more evident. Elena's parted lips began to quiver slightly, involuntarily as more tears merged into the already pooling mass._

_**No Damon…**_

_**Don't do this to yourself…you're not a bad person, why can't you see past everything and see the good in you I see? **_

_**Why can't you see the things **__I __**see…you're not this **__big bad monster__**…I've seen the other side of you. **_

_**Don't compare yourself to Stefan…**_

_She sealed her lips for a moment as she took in his solemn expression, his eyes watering and sadness and pain etched into his features, filling the crevasses of his face. Then he did the unexpected, he gave her enough time to retreat as leaned in and gingerly placed his lips against the flesh of her forehead. A shadow covered her face as she found her throat constricting further because she felt electrifying emotions pour through the sweet gesture into her. She cared for nothing else in that moment except for __**them**__, Damon and Elena._

_She felt his __**love**__, the __**passion**__ and the __**pain **__and __**sorrow**__ and because of all these intense emotions and the feeling of his **love** for **her** pouring through her…Elena found herself temporarily paralyzed because she could have never imagined the extent of his sincere emotions for her._

_**Why do you torture yourself so much...?**_

_**Why Damon?**_

_Then in a snap he pulled away and she stopped savouring the feel of his lips.__She didn't look at him for a second even as she felt him taking in her expression, gauging her reaction._

_However when she looked into his sad blue eyes she felt herself hurt…she felt herself __**break**__. Because he looked broken…because he looked__** so sad**__ and in so much __**pain**__ that it made Elena, herself hurt. _

_Swallowing she felt his hand's running through her tresses and then his fingers gently stroking the side of her face gingerly…tenderly and lovingly as he murmured words that confused her. __**"God I wish you didn't have to forget this." **_

_Though her expression was serene she knew that her confusion had surfaced…she felt a single brow quirk up in confusion at his words._

_**Forget what?**_

_**What are you planning Damon…what do you mean by that?**_

_As she felt a change stir in her as she gazed into his eyes, spellbound her mind began to fog and she felt her mind begin to cloud up. She had lost the ability of movement as she had become truly paralyzed and also lost the function temporarily to voice voluntarily what she wanted to…so as to try to stop him._

_**NO!**_

_**Damon **__please__** don't do this! **_

_**Don't do this, I **__don't __**want to forget **__this__**…**__**don't do this to me! **_

_**No, you can't do this to me! **_

_**You can't tell me you love me and then make me forget.**_

_**You **__are __**selfish!**_

_**You're selfish because you're taking it back as if you hadn't told me!**_

_**So don't you dare tell me you love me than do this…don't you compel me and make me forget.**_

_**Please…**_

_**I care about you…can't you see that?**_

_**But I'm afraid Damon, don't you realize that? **_

_**Damon…please… **_

_**I-**_

_As soon as his pupils began to dilate and expand she found herself becoming lost and her mind became cloudy._

"_**But you do." **__His voice cracked as she saw a single tear bleed from his eye as his compulsion demand had sunk in fully.  
_

_In a snap the world blackened, her eyes closing and she felt a rush of air that caused her eyes snap open. _

_Confused as if she was missing something, as if she had forgotten something important and feeling strange she gazed at the billowing gauzy white drapes disoriented. _

_With furrowed brows she looked down and spotted her Vervain necklace and gingerly lifted it and gazed upon it feeling as if something was absent.  
_

_Frowning slightly she turned away feeling strange she looked behind her, in the direction of the bathroom._

_Elena glanced back, slowly walking towards her bed and gently sitting down at the end corner of it on top of the folded red quilt, she simply glanced at the necklace again._

_**When did I find this, when did I get this back...I thought I lost it, I thought it was gone?**  
_

_She felt strangely empty and sad…and hurt but she couldn't place the reason why she was feeling so strongly empty, sad and hurt...oddly enough she knew...she had a feeling it wasn't connected to what happened today.  
_

_With a sigh she pushed it aside and ignoring it she climbed into bed and shut the lights off._

_Letting darkness descended upon her, she shut her eyes drifting off under sleep's grasp while the drapes still billowed in the wind._

_

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**Author's Note: I hoped it was good! **_

_**Thank you all for the reviews and for simply READING! ^^ **_

_**P.S I hope Elena finds out that he told her or something, or remembers (I want to see her reaction to his...actions) or some BIG Damon Elena moment happens because Damon isn't having a fun ride here...and I think the poor guy deserves some happiness, a break even. =P  
**_


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